Week One: Observations and Adjustments

Bonjour from Paris!

The first week or so in Paris has been a weird one. I wish there was a more eloquent way to put it, but that about sums it up. It's been full of challenges, both big and small. My week has consisted of catching flights, sitting through hours of orientation, and adapting to living in a tiny French apartment with a tiny French woman named Chantal, her tiny French dog named Julia, and my roommate from Colorado named Betty. Not to mention trying to wake up the part of my brain that knows French but hasn't had to do any heavy lifting since Junior year of high school. Between all of this madness, I've found an abundance of time to be in awe of everything around me. Even the little things, like how there's really detailed and ornate graffiti everywhere, how truly remarkable it is that everyone ignores traffic laws or how tiny the glasses are (I'm talking 3 ounces at the most) are cause for amazement, as menial as it sounds. And the bigger things are too, of course. Like how I can see the Eiffel Tower from my host mom's window (lit up in all of her golden, night-time glory), how we're in the middle of three separate protests/strikes happening all at once which is completely normal (did you know France has around 250 protests annually?) or how my art history course will be meeting at museums rather than in the classroom most days. Things that aren't that new and aren't that exciting are both new and exciting here in addition to all of the classic but still marvelous tourist-y side of things. Nothing goes unnoticed. I imagine I look a little bit like a goldfish these days; wide-eyes trying to absorb the very air around me. Hopefully, that will go away with time (although I have a sneaking suspicion that it won't).

Rather than give you the play by play for my week, I've decided on a list of things I've picked up through my conversations with my host mom and what we learned at orientation. Although they are mostly generalizations that may not apply to everyone, I think that these have been the most interesting things I have come across so far and have really made my first week here incredibly entertaining.

• The French aren't rude, they're just introverts.
• The French are actually an extraordinarily polite people, their rules are just different from ours. Whenever you walk into a shop, onto an elevator or ask for directions you are expected to greet whoever is in there. Same for when you leave. This isn't an invitation to start a conversation, after all, the French are notoriously Private individuals, but it's a polite acknowledgment of the other person and the fact that you sharing the space with them. The French are known to be brisk, and although this is true to some extent, it isn't from a place from malice. There aren't words in their language that allow for the passive-aggressive, beating-around-the-bush conversations we have in the U.S. I find that when I'm struggling to convey what I mean in French, it's typically because I am trying to express it in a very "American" way. Once I let go of the different expectations I'm still operating under from our culture, it becomes far easier to communicate. If you're courteous, ask questions, and don't take things too personally, you'll be fine. Just as long as you don't try to make friends in line at the supermarket or take up too much room on the escalator.
• Always try to speak French first, even if your pronunciation needs work.
• French people really appreciate it when non-French speakers try to communicate in French, even if it's difficult. Most Parisians under the age of 50 know at least some English and will be glad to help as long as you try and start off in French. For example, if you are asking for directions, they are far more likely to help if you begin with a greeting and ask if they speak English in French before switching over to English. Even if your pronunciation is horrible, they appreciate the effort. Sometimes, they might correct you, but it isn't out of disdain, they're trying to be helpful, there just isn't a good way to translate that across cultures, especially one that as I said before, specializes in bluntness. One of our staff members told us that often when older folks correct your French it's out of their own discomfort because they can't speak English. Have patience with yourself and others, it's a hard leap to make but they're more than willing to help as they can
• The French have different priorities as far as standards of living.
• Parisians use their time, energy, and money differently than we do. Their living spaces are often sparser and smaller (see photos page). We have very strict rules on when we're allowed to take showers and for how long (before 9pm and no longer than 15 minutes). We hang dry all of our clothing because they don't use dryers. Their cars, if they even own them, are tiny and are often electric. Resources like electricity, gas, water, and heat are all conserved as much as possible and you can forget about AC in the summer. On the other hand, they spend a lot more money on high-quality food, clothing, and luxury items. They have found ways to live minimally in terms of things Americans see as standard so that they can take extra vacations and have second apartments in Bordeaux like my host mom does. It's a fascinating switch in terms of priorities and I've found myself starting to think that maybe it makes more sense than the way we do it in the U.S.
• If you make eye contact and smile at someone it's perceived as you being a. romantically interested in them or b. untrustworthy.
• As Americans, we are far more likely to make eye contact, if only briefly and offer a smile in an attempt to dissuade any perceptions of ill-intent. The opposite is expected here. Especially since coming from the Mid-West (and going to school at Marietta) where that sort of outward express is integrated into how we interact with each other on a daily basis, it's been a very difficult habit for me to break. How on earth are you supposed to walk down the street and just not make eye contact with people? Not to mention that smiling is basically reflexive... I thought I might never make this adaptation until Thursday evening while walking home from orientation when I smiled as a young girl on the street. She looked so incredibly taken aback that I have found it far easier to keep a straight-face since then. Since all of the mass transportation is unreliable right now due to the transportation union workers being on strike, I find myself walking everywhere (typically well over half an hour in some cases) so this has been a very difficult and crucial cultural difference for me to adapt to, more so than others.
• Perception is everything here.
• The French are very aware of how things appear to other people. In orientation, they told us that often, it might feel like we are being judged quickly and it's because we are and that's just that. The French are quick to pass judgments on themselves and other people in an attempt to control the situation. They don't like to not know, to not be prepared, to feel insecure in any given situation so they are often hyperaware in order to keep that from happening. Our student affairs coordinator, Laurie, told us that there is a French saying that is used to remind people that ridiculousness will not kill you. She told us that any culture that needs a saying to be reminded that being human is okay clearly has a long way to go. It's something fo us to lean into and engage with. According to Laurie, the French like to debate, they like to hear what other people think so we shouldn't shy away from this. If we disagree or if we feel that we're being judged too quickly we've been instructed to push back and have that conversation with your host family and other French people we might meet.

I hope that these findings have given you a look into how drastically (and in some ways not so drastically) my life has changed in just a few days. It's a never-ending process of making mistakes, asking questions, and ultimately learning. It constantly keeps me on my toes and honestly, I don't think I would change anything about it. Even the awkwardness of having to make new friends again and the difficulty of speaking French again is absolutely worth the lessons I've learned-- and it's only been a week!

Monday, we start a week of intensive language courses and move into regular courses next week. I am absolutely terrified but also thrilled to be starting classes. It looks like it's going to be an enormous amount of work but I don't think I'm allowed to complain when Paris is my classroom. 

To finish off, I'll leave you with some new terms that I've learned this week that are relevant to life in Paris:

• Mère d'accueil = host mom
• Les actualités = current events
• "Sa suffit!" = "That's enough!" (to use if being harassed by someone on the street)
• La grève = a strike
• Manifestation = a protest

À bientôt!