And The Rose-Colored Lenses Come Off

The thing about living somewhere for an extended period of time is that eventually, the novelty wears off. Not like all of the sudden Paris, the City of Lights, just isn't that cool anymore (I am still awestruck by the countless museums and churches never cease to amaze), it's just that you come to see the reality that is. The entirety of Paris as a city.

When you're a tourist, you don't really have time to see the nuance of a place. You aren't meant to. You experience the Greatest Hits and move on as any good tourist does. After all, the point of being a tourist is not to become deeply integrated into the social-political fabric of your vacation destination. For the first few weeks, studying abroad is like that too. You're just taking in and absorbing everything because it's new and cool and amazing. As it should be! Because it is just insane to be here! But after a while, reality begins to settle in and you begin to notice things. You start watching the news, understanding the culture and the people around you. You walk the same streets day in and day out and begin to realize that even though it's Paris... It isn't perfect.

There is a woman who is experiencing homelessness sitting outside of my apartment building every day. There's a man who lives under the bridge on my walk to school. And a refugee family sitting in the metro station near me. The streets are full of suffering people begging for help. They say here, that it's better than it is in the US because the perspective isn't that people experiencing homelessness did something wrong, it's that society failed them. That they aren't to blame. And yet. They're still there. And it still hurts to see. I saw a news report last week talking about the 400 or so families in Paris experiencing homelessness currently, and my host mom changed the channel with quiet dismissal. As much as France claims to be a socialist state that supports its people, there are still those who fall through the cracks. It's easy to brush off when you're only here for a week. Less so when you begin to know their faces.

There are a lot of tensions between marginalized populations and the white population in France. Paris is extraordinarily diverse and prides itself on its demographic makeup. And yet. The area of the city known as "Little Africa" is facing massive gentrification efforts that would force apart the African communities that live there. There are constant racially-charged squabbles between the police and marginalized populations that go unheard about because the French don't like talking about race or ethnicity. They don't believe in it. They say that the only people who talk about race, are racists. That your ethnicity doesn't matter because, here, everyone is French. But the fact of the matter is that being color-blind does not solve issues or heal traumas. You have ex-colonized people living next to the ex-colonizers (keep in mind that Paris granted independence to its last colony in 1962, so this is still a very real issue here). There is history there that doesn't go away because the white population decided that they don't want to talk about it anymore. Movies, though progressive in other areas like LGBT representation etc., still flaunt casual racism (and crush the box office while they're at it). It's a complex issue here, just as it is in the US.

Jewish populations are terrified to wear their kippot in public because of anti-Semitic activity. In 2016, France banned full-face coverings in public spaces following the terrorist attacks of 2015. Additionally, all civil servants are required to remove any religious articles (including but not limited to crosses, hijabs, kippot, etc). Immigrants from Syria have sought refuge in France but face stigma, a hesitant public, and a system ill-equipped to receive and support them. The Provinces face rises in poverty levels following the enactment of the tax on diesel fuels that spurred the Yellow Vest protests and feel that Paris, run by "the elites", are out of touch with the rest of the nation. In stores, it's hard to find sizes over an American women's 8, rape and harassment claims continue to rise, and the success of their education system is debatable. The list of things that aren't right just seems to go on and on. It feels like once I started to pull on one thread, the whole curtain came unraveled. And as much as I would like to not pay attention to the man behind it, I can't seem to take my eyes off him.


But here's the thing. As awful as it sounds, as much as it appears that this is just a rant to say "never come to Paris or stay anywhere for an extended period of time," it's not. In fact, it's the exact opposite. I am grateful that I am getting to see this side of Paris. The whole of Paris. To deny it's complexities would be to deny the humanity that is the rest of the world. I think we so often will talk about how much of mess things are in the US and romanticize other countries that seem to have their act together way better than we do. But they don't, not really. The world is convoluted and full of contradictions. To simplify this would be doing a great disservice to the history, the struggles, and the very real lives that people live all over the world. There is nothing wrong with being a tourist, connecting to a place on a surface level for a short period of time. I've done it countless times before and when I travel here on weekend trips, I do it all over again. But if you have the chance to connect in a deeper way, to experience a place in its entirety, do it. It's a powerful experience that leaves you with something more than just some social-media worthy photos.

It's just like with anything else that you spend a great deal of time with: you like because, and love despite. Being here has given me more perspective and empathy for back home, it has let me see the US with kinder eyes. It has helped me appreciate the reality of places and realize that it isn't a competition of which place is the best or most perfect because let's be honest, we're all just one very human and very hot mess.